Archive | April, 2011

The “December Dream” Saga

This was the body of a letter I sent to Ben Edmonds who was writing a story about the reclusive writer/artist Fred Neil for Mojo Magazine (Feb. 2000) after the EMI  release of a CD collection, The Many Sides of Fred Neil, in 1999, which included unreleased masters including my song which was uncredited on the album. The re-release producers apparently assuming Fred wrote it.

Richie Unterberger, in his liner notes, wrote: “The undoubted highlight of this batch of previously unreleased tracks is “December’s Dream,” with its gorgeous melody (which somewhat resembles Dino Valente’s classic”Get Together” in the verses.) and seductive, languorous sadness. It’s difficult to fathom why this went unused; it would have made a particularly appropriate addition to the Fred Neil album, assuming that it was cut around that era. The ending finds bohemian, goof-off Fred in an uncommonly serious and direct frame of mind as he solemnly croons — with the authority of one who has lived the lyrics  — “Love for any time at all is worth the price you pay to fall.” Truer words were never sung.”

Writing “December Dream” (They called it “December’s Dream” on Fred’s “The Many Sides of Fred Neil” CD) was a pivotal event in my life for many reasons. In about 1964 I was living in Cambridge Massachusetts , working days at Fanny Farmer Candy Company and singing in Boston’s Charles St. clubs at night. During that time I met Pete Childs, a great guitar player and singer who was also working the folk clubs there. I was mostly singing traditional folk music but had just started writing songs. December Dream was the second song I had ever written. I was going through a rough time after a breakup with my girlfriend who had had a fling with another guy that just destroyed me. I put it all into this song. That year there was an event in Cambridge, the first annual Freedom Folk Festival. As part of the event they held a songwriting competition that I entered and won, after which “December Dream,” as part of the prize, was published in SingOut Magazine. Ironically, one of the judges, Len Chandler, was to become, in 1971, my partner for 23 years in founding and running the Los Angeles Songwriters Showcase.

Sometime in 1965, I believe, I sublet Pete Childs’ apartment in Cambridge when he went on the road but prior to that, I had taught him the song because he really liked it. Now we fast forward to 1967 after I had gone back to Vancouver, BC where I had lived on and off previous to moving to Cambridge. That year I had gotten off the road as a folksinger and joined a blues band, The Fantastic Sensations, playing in front of acid crazed audiences and light shows. Later that year I got a letter via my parents in Elgin Illinois, from a music publisher (Third Story Music) who said that a group called the Stone Poneys, featuring Linda Ronstadt (who I had never heard of) had recorded “December Dream” on their Evergreen #2 album. Enclosed was a contract and a $200 advance. As a result, I signed the contract and moved to L.A., figuring it would be a good idea to follow up on this success. It WAS a good idea. Changed my life. I recorded the song myself later on Pete Records, an indie label I signed with about a year later.

My understanding of how the song got recorded, from what producer (the late) Nik Venet told me, was that they needed more songs on the Stone Ponies sessions at Capitol and asked the musicians on the session, including Pete Childs, if they had any songs. Pete played them “December Dream,” they liked it and cut it. Pete had also played on the Fred Neil sessions and taught him the song too. When I met Venet later he told me about it and even later, Howard Solomon, who had been Freddy’s manager, came to the songwriters Showcase one night at Gios on Sunset and presented me with three different takes of Freddy singing my song. Major thrill! After singing Freddy’s “That’s The Bag I’m In.” and “The Other Side of This Life” for years in my solo folk gigs and even with the Fantastic Sensations, I was honored that he’d want to record a song of mine.

I have no idea why they picked that particular take for the unreleased songs on this new compilation. Howard and I also liked the one that ended right after the last line but they used the one in which he continued to play guitar. Since I loved his voice and style so much, it really didn’t matter that much to me. It also didn’t matter that he took some liberties with the melody.

I think I actually met Freddy only once (I have a vague recollection though, that I may have attended one of his recording sessions in L.A.). Bruce Langhorne, Bruce’s then girlfriend Noreen Eck and I drove down from White Plains NY to Coconut Grove where Bruce had a gig playing guitar for Odetta (I think at the Gaslight South). This was at least two years before he cut my song and I don’t even know if he remembered or put the name together later. He was gigging occasionally down there, sometimes with Vince Martin. He was a longtime legend down there. I think I first heard about him from David Crosby back in ’62. At that time David taught me a song he had learned from Freddy, a sweet bluesy ballad called “Willie Jean.” David and I met in Omaha when he, his brother Chip and (I think) Mike Clough, were headed out to the West Coast to join the Les Baxter Balladeers. My time might be off on that because I also remember him from the Chicago scene. Anyway, David spent a lot of time on that Coconut Grove scene and was a friend of Freddy’s.

In retrospect. In my incarnations as songwriting teacher, music publisher etc., I never would have given the song a shot at being recorded. No real hook, no “commercial” structure, no repeated chorus, a title that doesn’t show up in the song, not even a bridge. Sometimes emotional honesty, sincerity, a little poetry and a pretty melody win. Who knew?

We’re fortunate to have Fred’s recordings as a reminder of his spirit and that great voice and I’m honored that he chose to record my song.

John Braheny

john@johnbraheny.com

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Lyric Writing:Common Challenges

There are many aspects to writing lyrics that may not immediately come to mind when you’re “in the zone” and the ideas are flowing. By all means, don’t stop the flow, just try not to get it hung up trying to find rhymes or correct phrasing at this point. Explore the “what if” ideas if anything and just let it roll. After that first draft, though, here are some things to consider.

Getting trapped by precision. Writers who write exclusively lyrics and those who start songs by writing lyrics before writing melodies can suffer from getting into a lyric meter pattern in the first section they write and carrying the same pattern through every section. Those of you on the fringe’s of obsessive compulsive disorder are also going to tend to make sure that each lyric meter is precisely the same in each verse and even in the chorus. Consequently much of their lyric will feel forced, stiff and un-conversational. Remember, you’re not writing a Haiku poem here (precisely 17 syllables), you’re writing a conversation and seldom does a conversation come out precisely the same, verse after verse. I’ll hasten to add that there are certainly successful songs that are more “poetic” than others and not as conversational as they are artful. However, the artfulness is not as much about the precision of meter as choice of words, metaphors and images. In other words, not as much in the artifice as is in the content itself.

The solution to this problem is to re-write what you think is a chorus with a totally fresh construction, lyric meter and rhyme scheme, making use of repetition of the title. Even if you’re not quite sure what you want the title to be and your initial draft of the song has the ‘”too precise and predictable” problem, always know that it’s a first draft and if the chorus is something you discover as you go, return to it for a rewrite before you nail down a melody. (See “Chorus Construction” P 93 The Craft and Business of Songwriting 3rd Ed.) For additional verses, loosen up. All you need is to make the vocal phrasing work smoothly with the first verse melody and if it means you need to make a slight adjustment in subsequent verse melodies to accommodate the lyric, it’s not really such a big deal. The content of the lyric is more important. This can be more difficult, however, if you write only lyrics without having a melody in your head to act as a matrix.

Writing to express yourself vs. writing to communicate. Sometimes you DO communicate when you express yourself. The problem is mainly making it interesting to the listener. We’ve all had long conversations with people who want to talk to us about every nuance of their personal history or problems. At some point during an unstoppable interlude like that you find yourself thinking about whether your car is due for an oil change. However, some people are natural story-tellers who offer fascinating details, descriptions and build a story in a way that keeps you asking “Then what happened?” and you’re hanging onto every word. Chances are they’ve re-told the story (re-written it) enough times to have added a little fascinating detail along the way as they felt their listeners’ attention drifting. We never tire of hearing the same story and end up saying to friends, “Have him tell you the story about _____.” When you look at your lyric, try to put yourself in the place of a listener and imagine listening to this story. Would it hold your attention?

Tell us the story. Don’t tell us about the story. The specific always stays with listeners longer than the general.

(1) “She left me last year and I’m not over her yet.

So many things about her I still can’t forget”

Interesting? No. Too general – not enough detail to be engaging.

(2) “We fought about money, I could never make enough.

Part of me’s glad the nagging’s gone and the other part knows I’m still in love”.

Better – you’re still letting us know she’s gone but you’re adding it in the context of why she left and how you feel about it. You’ve got substantially more info in #2. Money represents very common source of marital conflict, so you’re tapping into that audience. (Yes I know the 2 versions don’t scan the same but I’m making the point about content.)

So what did we gain? As a listener, I don’t really care when she left. I’m much more interested in why she left, and what there is about her, he can’t forget. So unless you begin to answer the question raised immediately, you’re courting boredom in your listener.

Build an interesting context.

Scenario 1 – Boy takes his girl home after a date – leans over to kiss her goodnight at her doorway and she turns her head away. Anyone who’s been there recognizes the major sign that something’s wrong.

Scenario 2 – Boy is standing with four pals on the sidewalk after school. His girlfriend comes over to the group and the boy tries to kiss her. She turns away. The scene is much more intense because he’s also publicly embarrassed and now they all know something’s wrong.

In scenario 2 the same action is intensified by a more emotionally loaded context. The drama is heightened considerably and sets up an even more volatile scene. Explore other contextual elements you could use to enhance the color and drama in your songs. Where is the action taking place? Who else is present? How do those factors relate to the action? It’s a good exercise to map out the scenarios in prose or like a movie script as I did above in as much detail as possible, describing what you see in your imagination, even if you don’t end up using all the details in your lyric.

———————————————-                                                                                                                                              Excerpted and updated from John Braheny’s The Craft and Business of Songwriting (3rd Ed)

<!– /* Font Definitions */ @font-face font-family:"Times New Roman"; panose-1:0 2 2 6 3 5 4 5 2 3; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:50331648 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} table.MsoNormalTable mso-style-parent:""; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 page:Section1;} -There are many aspects to writing lyrics that may not immediately come to mind when you're "in the zone" and the ideas are flowing. By all means, don't stop the flow, just try not to get it hung up trying to find rhymes or correct phrasing at this point. Explore the “what if” ideas if anything and just let it roll. After that first draft, though, here are some things to consider.

Getting trapped by precision. Writers who write exclusively lyrics and those who start songs by writing lyrics before writing melodies can suffer from getting into a lyric meter pattern in the first section they write and carrying the same pattern through every section. Those of you on the fringe’s of obsessive compulsive disorder are also going to tend to make sure that each lyric meter is precisely the same in each verse and even in the chorus. Consequently much of their lyric will feel forced, stiff and un-conversational. Remember, you’re not writing a Haiku poem here (precisely 17 syllables), you’re writing a conversation and seldom does a conversation come out precisely the same, verse after verse. I’ll hasten to add that there are certainly successful songs that are more “poetic” than others and not as conversational as they are artful. However, the artfulness is not as much about the precision of meter as choice of words, metaphors and images. In other words, not as much in the artifice as is in the content itself.

The solution to this problem is to re-write what you think is a chorus with a totally fresh construction, lyric meter and rhyme scheme, making use of repetition of the title. Even if you’re not quite sure what you want the title to be and your initial draft of the song has                                                                                          the ‘”too precise and predictable” problem, always know that it’s a first draft and if the chorus is something you discover as you go, return to it for a rewrite before you nail down a melody. (See “Chorus Construction” P 93 The Craft and Business of Songwriting 3rd Ed.) For additional verses, loosen up. All you need is to make the vocal phrasing work smoothly with the first verse melody and if it means you need to make a slight adjustment in subsequent verse melodies to accommodate the lyric, it’s not really such a big deal. The content of the lyric is more important. This can be more difficult, however, if you write only lyrics without having a melody in your head to act as a matrix.

Writing to express yourself vs. writing to communicate. Sometimes you DO communicate when you express yourself. The problem is mainly making it interesting to the listener. We’ve all had long conversations with people who want to talk to us about every nuance of their personal history or problems. At some point during an unstoppable interlude like that you find yourself thinking about whether your car is due for an oil change. However, some people are natural story-tellers who offer fascinating details, descriptions and build a story in a way that keeps you asking “Then what happened?” and you’re hanging onto every word. Chances are they’ve re-told the story (re-written it) enough times to have added a little fascinating detail along the way as they felt their listeners’ attention drifting. We never tire of hearing the same story and end up saying to friends, “Have him tell you the story about _____.” When you look at your lyric, try to put yourself in the place of a listener and imagine listening to this story. Would it hold your attention?

Tell us the story. Don’t tell us about the story. In film industry vernacular, “Don’t write a treatment (plot summary), write a script.”

(1) “She left me last year and I’m not over her yet.

So many things about her I still can’t forget”

Interesting? No. Too general – not enough detail to be engaging.

(2) “We fought about money, I could never make enough.

Part of me’s glad the nagging’s gone and the other part knows I’m still in love”.

Better – you’re still letting us know she’s gone but you’re adding it in the context of why she left and how you feel about it. You’ve got substantially more info in #2. Money represents very common source of marital conflict, so you’re tapping into that audience. (Yes I know the 2 versions don’t scan the same but I’m making the point about content.)

So what did we gain? As a listener, I don’t really care when she left. I’m much more interested in why she left, and what there is about her, he can’t forget. So unless you begin to answer the question raised immediately, you’re courting boredom in your listener.

Build an interesting context.

Scenario 1 – Boy takes his girl home after a date – leans over to kiss her goodnight at her doorway and she turns her head away. Anyone who’s been there recognizes the major sign that something’s wrong.

Scenario 2 – Boy is standing with four pals on the sidewalk after school. His girlfriend comes over to the group and the boy tries to kiss her. She turns away. The scene is much more intense because he’s also publicly embarrassed and now they all know something’s wrong.

In scenario 2 the same action is intensified by a more emotionally loaded context. The drama is heightened considerably and sets up an even more volatile scene. Explore other contextual elements you could use to enhance the color and drama in your songs. Where is the action taking place? Who else is present? How do those factors relate to the action? It’s a good exercise to map out the scenarios in prose or like a movie script as I did above in as much detail as possible, describing what you see in your imagination, even if you don’t end up using all the details in your lyric.

Excerpted and updated from John Braheny’s The Craft and Business of Songwriting (3rd Ed)

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